Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
