Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
