I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
