I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
