My nipple is on Facebook.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
