this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
