currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
