3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
