im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
