You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
