i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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