dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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