is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
