I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize