mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
