All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
