Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
