I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
