I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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