Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
