i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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