I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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