Hey man sorry I got all grabby
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
