when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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