so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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