i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
