watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
