I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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