Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
