You were right. It hurts to walk today.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize