Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize