its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
