It's Friday. Sex?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
