They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
