i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
