Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
