Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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