So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize