I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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