I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize