lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
