Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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