If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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