girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
