You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
