So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
