why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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