handjob tips. give me some.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
