I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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