I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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