that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My pussy is not your playground.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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