Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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