Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
