I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
