i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
